The Sighting

A sighting. Something which is so characteristically FA. Walking to my public transportation this evening I was in the station and was walking along when it hit me. There was a shortish young woman.. estimated at about 5’3” or 4” and maybe early 20s. As I was nearing her on my way by I barely registered that she was on her cell phone and then she turned so she was in profile to me. At that point her bare belly bottom’s lusciously rotund hanging curve vaulted into sight. A relatively slender gal, not noticeably fat from the rear had a whopper of a belly, resting over her pants and belt and her too short shirt had slid up, the shirt hugging the front of her belly but exposing a perfectly rounded belly bottom which was surprisingly or almost shockingly ample. It was a smoothly round, triumphantly bulging little belly and the convex bottom came into view from a profile angle as she leaned back, shortening the back and lengthening the front, in mid cellphone conversation; and what came free from her pants and her upwardly mobile shirt was a solid four inch view of nascent belly, hanging out and down over her belt. She was either unaware or uncaring about or proudly displaying belly.

My eyes firing on all cylinders and brain locking the sighting in the memory banks fought to rapidly document any other info about this lass without staring or stopping. Blondish hair, shoulder length, medium build, no discernible bustiness.. the winter’s clothing hiding any more detailed view. As I turned to get on the transportation, I noticed out of the side of my field of vision sneakers and jeans, though she’d rotated away from me, and displayed not much of a butt.

Total time from seeing her to finish.. less than ten seconds. No discernible slowing of my tread, no significant craning of my neck as I passed by and no smile, grimace or other face contact. Not because I was avoiding her, but because she wasn’t looking at me and was too into her phone conversation to pay attention to the passing crowds.

But, it was a sighting and a nice one, not a “great one”. What a fortuitious event. Do I love her, want to meet her, etc. No. But still eye candy of the first order. She was not “my type” in the sense that it’s unlikely that she even weighs anywhere near 200 pounds. She’s probably half my age and we would almost assuredly have nothing in common. But, for a brief moment she passed into my orbit, like the moon creating an eclipse of the sun, and I noticed her, was rewarded by observing a thing of such heartbreaking beauty and sexual excitement that my humdrum commute was elevated. Was I driven to immediately find a way to release sexual tension, no, though it was a pleasant mental interlude.

The one thing that all FA’s seem to have in common is the concept of the sighting. Some, including me, still remember with vivid clarity sightings which took place decades ago. The big one that got away(poor fishing analogy) or the amazing wonders of creation and diversity. For some sightings and FA’s it is a woman of such size or shape or proportions. For other it’s the way a woman presents herself either by her dress, confidence, delight in being so sexy or beautiful. For others it’s a particular feature that drives the FA into fits of heavenly delight: a belly apron hanging to the woman’s knees, a bosom so full and heavy that it seems to occupy her entire front from chin to waist; hips so rounded, wide and ample as to take one’s breath away; or a pair of thunderous thighs, rubbing together to the knees or below and inducing a waddle so singularly hers. Yet others are enchanted by a woman’s eyes and smile set like diamonds and pearls among a face so preciously set in curves and surfaces of complementary harmony. For me, each of the above, at times fill my sightings catalogs.

The BBW’s and SSBBW’s are generally not very receptive to FA’s sharing the retelling of sighting, perhaps believing that the retelling is a way of comparing the woman to the sighting in some negative way. For me this has never been the case. The sighting is something that occurs reflexively and without prior thought by the FA, his non-verbal libidinal radar waking up and screaming “incoming”. In some sense I suppose it is a window on what turns his non-judgmental self on. But, if I am a test case, I find so much and so varied attraction that I seem to like much of what I see from relatively slender nymphs like tonight’s sighting on up to monumentally fat women in majestically elephantine movement. That doesn't define who I want to spend time with or form a relationship with, but it is a part of my being.

I call on FA’s to tell me what it is that causes you to trigger a sighting, if you know, and to share your sense of what your earliest sighting memory is. For me I can think back to some point before I was 7, though of course at the time I had no idea why my mind focused on a heroically fat woman and was amazed and dumbfounded, almost certainly staring at her for some time.

For the BBW’s and SSBBW’s please share your view of sightings by the FA’s and do you have something similar?

Why Bother?

Why Bother?

As I have gotten past the first blush of posts I've begun to contemplate why I started to write the blog, what it means to me in the short term and what long term plans I have for it, or it has for me.

Initially, my thinking was that I needed a way to clear out the attics of my mind of things that I'd thought about, dwelled on, chewed over and then moved on from some time ago. It also seemed like a good place to organize my thoughts about things FA which I had no other mode of communication for. On the few occasions that I've been able to sit down and talk about FA stuff with another FA there's too much of the thank god there are more of us out there talk and not enough of the real gristly issues that we and the women we adore face. Another thought was that maybe my musings could be of use to other FA's as a way to avoid the long years I've had to think of these issues and short circuit their own paths to maturity of their own thoughts. Perhaps another was to offer a window into a FA's head for the beautiful ladies of size, so they could get a better sense of what was going on in FA's heads and perhaps a way to move those guys out of the closet, etc.

When I thought of it that way, there seemed to be too many important reasons for doing a blog, and I figured that was more responsibility than I wanted. But, being a curious person, I was interested in any reactions that others have had to my words. Anyone I gave the link to the blog was asked to please comment. Of course, apart from a slender selection of readers this hasn't happened. But, those of you who have made comments have really made my days on the occasions of the comments coming in. I am not a know it all(Gee, was that truly necessary.. it should be as obvious to everyone else, as it is to me that I'm not). And, I just love to climb into other people's minds and see what makes them tick and how they think.

But, since the level of comments has stayed quite low, I often wonder whether anyone is actually reading what I've written. Initially, that seemed to be a deadly blow to my confidence and feelings. But, it occurs to me that I write this as much for my own pleasure as for others. Also, having chatted with some folks who've read it and haven't posted comments, I know that there are some who've read it and enjoyed it or found it interesting who prefer for their own reasons not to enter a comment. So, there are probably a wide variety of reasons why I write what I do, but as long as I'm happy and having fun doing it, I'm sure I will continue.

Having read a variety of other blogs over the last few months, and a few going back more than a year, I've learned a lot about what I, as a reader, enjoy, and what makes me want to wail. Repetition kills me. When a blogger merely repeats the same formulaic thoughts over and over again, no matter how interesting they were initially, I feel cheated. Of course, that is a very egocentric concept since that's all about my enjoyment of someone else's blog. And, since I don't write my blog for someone else, but for me, why should they feel any differently about their blog. Being kinda new to this thing I posted a comment to someone else's blog, which I had found interesting. However, the past 5 or 6 posts I'd read looked like they were all redrafts of the same post. While the content was amusing and interesting, it seemed that there had to be something new to say or why bother. My comment was relatively neutral, describing how I enjoyed reading the blogger's work, but feeling that the recent posts were somewhat repetitive and hoping that new stuff would be forthcoming. Of course the blogger had a shit fit and pointed out, among the rants about my presumptuousness(which of course was right), that the blog belonged to the blogger and not me and all the posts could be absolutely identical if that was what made the blogger happy. While initially taken aback by the venom expressed, and still feeling that the reaction was an overreaction to an innocent comment, I have learned that the core point is valid. A blog must be writted both by and FOR the blogger and not for others. Yes, one hopes that others enjoy, learn, are stimulated, etc. by a blog entry, but ultimately, if the blogger is happy with the work, the rest is gravy. If others are angered, drawn to respond negatively or passionately, that's not necessarily a bad thing. But, I've decided, for me that I prefer not to revisit the same topics dealt with before unless I have something new or different to say about them.

So, in answer to the Why Bother? question,.... because its not a bother, and because I enjoy doing it and seeing the responses large and small.

It's only a Fantasy

There are days when I think about: a woman I've known; met only in passing; is a familiar stranger that I pass regularly in my commute to my office; one I've only seen in passing once for a brief moment; chatted with textually with or without benefit of any picture; or women I've merely seen pictures of on the internet. I'm not sure if its the smell of madeleines or some chemical mixup or a wire frying in my brain, but my brain shifts gear from the real world to a nether region of its own, and my lower head lets out the reins so the dogs of war can emerge, sucking more than the usual share of blood from the system. I'm not really sure what causes these episodes, a FA's petit mal seizures of horniness when some image, smell, texture erupts unexpectedly but not unpleasantly(unless the situation is one where it can't be played out either mentally or physically or both), and makes me focus on some amazingly wonderful woman's charms. While the attraction may be everything from a smile, a pretty double chinned face, ample bosomry or other physical charms, a special belly proclaiming the SSBBW'ness of its possessor, is often the entry ticket to this private Shangri La of my mind.

It is not unusual that my fantastic voyage through the theater of my mind will wend its way from spectacular belly to belly, like a belly lover's Wheel of Fortune, until it slows and settles on one special woman and her equally special belly. And then, the fantasy will spring into action and play itself out in the private theater of my imagination, my hands and body feeling the sensations of that body on my hands and body like some amputees ghost itchiness from a missing limb. Often, the experience progresses essentially independently in my mind and my penis on different levels. As my brain processes the wonders of the belly in question and all the features, shapes, textures, heaviness and receptiveness to my touch into a full blown fantasy, the smaller head runs rampant, flashing mental images and scenarios onto the big screen in the back of my brain.

It is incredible to me how vivid these mental images and scenarios can be and how wonderful the private reflections and ministrations recreate an event which has never taken place and may never occur. However, as wonderful and satisfying as this is, it is only the palest of echoes of the real thing.

Eureka!!!

I think I've got it.

When I started with the Numbers posting I was trying desperately to deal with the apparent conflict between FA's who are focused on fat women's dimensions as expressed in numbers and the BBW's and SSBBW's discomfort with the persistent asking about numbers and creepy sense that the guys are more interested in the numbers than them.

I struggled with the numbers post and the responses I got, almost exclusively from women, were really useful and interesting. While there were a spectrum of view on the need for numbers, the appropriateness of asking about numbers and the feelings they have in being asked for or providing numbers, I sensed there was a common ground, expressed in different ways, but still a common ground.

All of the women expressed that when a relationship was cruising along and seemingly developing well in cyberspace but without a real life meeting, the first meeting in the flesh had an instantaneous poof event. At that first meeting something non-verbal took place. Some call it chemistry, some call it unnameable, others refer to it as getting a sense of the physical, but what sets it apart, an in my view seems to define it, is that there's no conscious, rational component to this event. Something below the self-aware consciousness, whether subconscious, physical, chemical or some combination of all of these things snaps into action and computes a non-verbal test score. Either the guy passes this or doesn't. Some say, I really liked this guy when we talked every day for a month or two online and on the phone.. but when I first met him.. poof, it was all gone. There was nothing there between us and all the time we'd spent getting to know each other was irrelevant.

Guys go through the same thing, but they do it or try to do it up front. If the girl passes this non-verbal, non-rational test, the guy pursues the relationship to determine if there is more than a chemistry attraction between them. And, with the internet, this usual pattern of relationship forming is altered due to the absence of Smellvision/3D cyber connections. And numbers or the interest in getting a woman's numbers is a mediocre substitute for the real world poof event that guys and girls experience. But, it seems to be the closest a guy can get up front to try and engage that subconscious system.

So, in conclusion, because I think I'm done with this topic for a while, FA's requests for numbers are not irrational, demeaning or negative on their own. If the FA's focus, however, is on the numbers themselves and not the woman herself, than that's a problem. Used as a way to better appreciate the woman herself they can be a useful tool to bridge the time between the meeting through the Net and the meeting in person. From the woman's side it is important that she be comfortable enough with her own body and size to share her numbers with a potential wooer. She also has to be comfortable enough with the guy requesting her to share her numbers, believing that he has an interest in her, not just her numbers as a way to completely define her.

Yuck.. why do you want to know that

In response to my initial try at the FA's focus on numbers I've gotten a few comments and rather than bury my response in another comment, I figured I'd add it as a new post. Still trying to get the hang of this medium which is so flexible and free form.

I find the immediate sense of queasiness that one of the commenters to my original post gets with the thought of a FA asking her about her weight and dimensions to be interesting. It was assumed that the FA is "obsessed" with the numbers. This is a part of what I was trying to get at in my original post. I believe that this "obsession" is related to the way in which people are trying to form relationships on the internet. Guys are trying to get a better sense of a gal's physical features, because that's the way they have always started their selection process. Gals are trying to divine the guy's personality from the words he uses and the phrases and responses he makes. Of course, the personality thing is largely word based so it is an easy fit with the internet. For the guys, however, there is no easy visual fix, unless webcams are in use and I appreciate how intrusive and intimate this can be so that it would be unlikely to be the first contact method of choice. So, numbers serve as the surrogate for the FA's inquiry, generally very very early in the first conversation, for the question one asks oneself as one looks at a woman... what does she look like?

In person different people's eyes fix on different things first. Some look at eyes(yes, I've heard this though I'm not sure that I've actually believed any guy who said this unless they were viewing women wearing the Muslim burkhas which cover everything up but the eyes themeselves), some at the shape of the face, smile, breasts, overall body shape, booty, belly, legs or some combination of these. But within the first few seconds a guy's initial scan of a woman sends back signals to both heads. In some cases the big head on top says Boing, what a babe. In others only the little head on the bottom springs into action and says.... hubba hubba. And in still others both heads or neither express interest or disinterest in the lady under review. All of this non-verbal response takes place before a single word has passed between the two and is largely subconscious. If the guy has a positive reaction on either of his ends he proceeds with the verbal communication. If not, he disengages or communicates in a fashion expressing no real interest. I don't defend this approach, merely note that its the way that guys have generally determined who they woo and pursue. This approach is particularly well suited to a bar or noisy environment where verbal communication is limited, but visual communication is wide open.

Alas, the internet changes all the rules. Now, guys can't use their usual approach. Their eyes, their noses and their penises are disengaged from the process, except as filtered through the typed words appearing on their screens. Viewed in this light, its not surprising that FA's want to get some OBJECTIVE indications of what a woman looks like. Cute face... gee that doesn't say much that would distinguish a woman from any number of others and cute is a subjective reaction that may not be shared by everyone. I look at a bony fashion model type without a single curve worth talking about and her face looks gaunt, haunted and unattractive, whereas othes would pine away about the beauty and cuteness there. Nice figure.. well you've got the idea.. nice by who's definition?

While a woman's height, weight and dimensions don't define a woman, they provide a first or second level approximation of what she looks like so a guy can in his mind evaluate whether she is potentially interesting to him. Some guys are only attracted to very busty gals with huge butts. If a woman's dimensions suggest she's a relatively non-busty apple shaped woman with a very ample belly but a relatively small butt, than he can determine that she's probably not "his type". That doesn't mean they can't start chatting and develop a relationship regardless of the initial physical screening. But, it at least gives a guy a chance to have a feel for what a girl will look like. Combined with a picture it gives the guy a sense of scale and shape and other things that are sensed in an in person meeting. I can't pass by the picture thing without noting that clothing can be worn to either show or hide features. I recall going out with a gal in college who was a good friend first and when she took off her big sweater top seeing an industrial scale H cup bra that was totally unexpected . Certainly her pictures would never have hinted how busty she was. You get the idea, I hope.

Should the gal get queasy when a guy asks her for her dimensions? That's up to her, but I don't believe that its intrusive as long as its not done in a malicious or disrespectful fashion. Does she have the right to say no, or not yet. Absolutely. Will that make it tougher for the FA, yes. But making relationships and then developing them is never about being easy.

Finally, it was suggested that how would guys feel about having to give back to a woman the same sorts of numerical information, including about the length and thickness of their penis. I find this very amusing for several reasons. First, because no woman has ever asked me for this. In fact I find it rare that women ask much in the way of personal physical information. Second, because I am more than willing to share this information about me when I am having a serious personal discussion with a woman and am not ashamed or embarrassed by either the request or in providing the response. Third, it only seems fair to me that if I am interested in physical information that will allow me to create a mental construct of what the woman looks like she should be able to do the same with me. In fact, the thought that a woman in her imagination is building a virtual image of me is a very tittilating and sexy thought for me.

Numbers, numbers, numbers

Number, numbers, numbers

FA’s and numbers seem to be joined at birth and inseparable till death. BBW’s and SSBBW’s generally exhibit a range of reactions to this predilection for quantification from joy that someone shares such a close interest in their dimensions, to a genial playing along with the object of their interest, to an unpleasant edginess regarding the demands for numerical data about their bodies, to a violent distaste for any inquiry regarding their dimensions.

So, there are two points to discuss here, hopefully I reach both. One, what is it that drives FA’s to get the numbers of their fat women; and two, what do they do with those numbers(or what do those numbers do to them). Of course, it would be interesting to also know why women react so differently to the FA’s requests and what do the numbers mean to them. But I suspect that’s beyond my ability to blog in one session.

As a card carrying FA from way back I can remember my earliest interest in numbers related to fat women. How much did they weigh, how big were their breasts, bellies, butts, how wide were they standing, sitting, how far down did their belly aprons sag, on all fours how far from the bed were their breasts or bellies(as my interests in larger women progressed this became mooted with many of the women whose breasts and bellies were longer than their arms), etc. But for me, once I had tasted the delights of the actual flesh the seeking of numbers was only the appetizer to the main course of a real physical relationship and not the real thing itself.

But, I had no idea why these numbers so obsessed me. Of course, like most FA’s it was only much later after years in my own private FA wilderness, assuming I was the only member of my genus or species homo sapiens FA, that I discovered others and was able to slowly discuss some of these issues. With the advent of the internet and the rapid, curiously intimate discussions with fat women, the dance between the sexes has changed. In the real world the first thing a guy sees, generally even before a single word has passed between him and the girl of his attention, is the woman’s body, in all its three dimensional glory. Some women dress to show off their shape, others to camouflage it, but a sense of size, shape and proportion is taken in at the start. In guys who usually perform their first filtering of who they're interested in visually, the first sighting is often the first cut.

However, on the internet there may be a picture or two or ten, but these two dimensional pictures only hint at the size and scope of a woman’s body. The sense of scale is not present as it is in real life. A shorter woman who is more abundantly curved may appear in pictures to be bigger, fatter and more capacious than a taller woman who weighs substantially more, but whose curves seem more scaled to her height. And, on the internet, words, which are often the only means of describing what someone looks like, are slippery. Words which mean one thing to the speaker may well have a different meaning to another.

So, the FA tries to grasp for the ladies features and wants something that is more objective than the usual words.. really big, pear shaped, very large tummy, very busty, etc. So what does he use.. numbers. Really big… how about weight.. to one person 210 pounds is really big, to another 450 pounds is midsized. Pear shaped means smaller topped and a gently curving hip and buttock on the order of 38-33-44 to one person, 46-56-87 to another. Very large tummy can mean a waistline of 38 inches and hip/belly measurement of 44 inches to one person, a waistline of 71 inches and hip/belly of 97 inches to another. Very busty to one woman may mean she wears a 42D sized bra and very busty to another woman may mean that her 58M bra with a few extenders is still too small to contain her heaving bosom.

So the numbers are much more objective than the words by themselves. They give more meaning to what the words provide. But there are down sides to the numbers, and this is more so as a woman moves into the SSBBW range. Because, here the numbers mean much less than for a woman of smaller size. Why? Because a woman with a very large tummy can have it shaped in many different ways. It can protrude outwardly, appearing very large indeed. Or, it can be very wide, but not so thick. Or, it can be so big and heavy that it drapes majestically down the woman’s front, extending down past her pubis, down onto the upper thighs and perhaps approaching the mid thighs or below. Then, the numbers which are merely girth numbers don’t accurately reflect the sheer scale and volume of the woman’s tummy. Not sure why, but some women don’t like to talk about a stomach or belly, but instead only like tummy. Who knows why? That’s another story for another entry. Some very big women have a double belly, a standard issue upper belly which seems to grow modestly, and a low slung belly apron which can often continue to grow beyond all usual dimensions providing a wall of belly from the front and an overhang of amazing distance when viewed from the side.

So, the simple three dimensions, bust, waist and hip just don’t do the trick of describing a fat woman’s shape as she enters the range of the SSBBW. What’s a FA to do? Well, either meet the lady and let his eyes do all the work(assuming they don’t pop out of his head-or they jointly agree to allow his fingers, hands, lips and tongue to share the load) or ask for more numbers. New and more creative measurements such as bellydrop, upper arms, upper and lower legs, upper and lower belly girth, etc…

Well, that lays out some of the reasons for numbers.

But, from the female side there tends to be a sense that the problem is that the boys aren’t worshipping them, but worshipping only the numbers. In fact, many of us FA’s do seem to be rather obsessed with numbers, more and more numbers to the extent that it seems that all we are interested in is how heavy, how big, how long, how wide, how…. And.. not interested in the lady, but only her numbers. And, if that’s the way it seems or is, that’s not right. The numbers, in my view are merely something to bring a FA and his lady closer together and for him to know her and her body better as they fill out their relationship, deciding if they are compatible in all the many ways that a man and a woman have to be for a more than slam bam thank you maam relationship. They are not a replacement for a relationship with the real world woman and, apart from a feeder or dieter situation, are essentially a one shot situation and not something to be repeated on a regular basis for the guy to get his jollies(unless of course both partners get off on the measuring).

I have noticed that most of the women who seem most dissatisfied with the concept of measuring themselves at the request of their potential beaus are dissatisfied because they sense that the guys are interested in the numbers and not them. Generalizations are of limited value, but it seems that there must be at least a significant number of these FAs who either are singularly interested more in the numbers than the girls or are doing a poor job of communicating the role of seeking the gal’s numbers as a part of exploring the development of a relationship.

Again, I come back to the peculiarities of the budding internet romance and the odd way in which there is an immediate intimacy of discussion and expression which would be virtually unheard of in a traditional real world relationship. I would be shocked to hear that a guy who met a woman at a friend’s party or an office party or on a double date set up by friends would immediately ask her how much she weighs, what size bra she wears and how far down her belly apron hangs etc. Yet, this sort of discussion is not uncommon on the internet. In fact, I’ve had many women complain that this is the standard fare for them in internet chat rooms where FA’s looking for BBW’s size them up like chickens.. how big, how big breasts, how big thighs, etc.

Do I have a conclusion to this post? No. I want to know what others think and then maybe I’ll opine some more.

FA's in the Closet

I think this is an important issue for both FA’s and BBW’s to deal with and to understand. Of course, I can only speak from the FA side, but having been educated over the years and quite recently about FA’s in the closet I thought it appropriate to express my views about this thorny subject with more complexity and depth.

I don’t have any doubt that FA’s need to come out of the closet and be open to those they care about and who care about them, including family, friends and coworkers that they do not merely tolerate their fat objects of admiration, but are attracted to them, find them beautiful and will not accept family, friends and coworkers making demeaning comments about the women they care for and about. Like everything about humans, few black and white lines exist and a spectrum of reactions to out of the closet FA’s (“OTC FA’s”) and the objects of their adoration result. Some crusty curmudgeons are essentially immovable despite repeated and pointed instruction, cajoling, threatening.. etc. Often the very oldest generation can be like this(though not always and not even most of the time, some of these oldies having actually gained maturity along with social security benefits). Another group are those who agree to act appropriately but often seem to “forget”. Repeated application of charm, arm twisting and even some scenes often cure these miscreants. Some just don’t get it. Despite the explanation they are like eight track cassettes…. A few minutes after the last reminder they revert to their base behavior, seemingly having no memory and just restarting again like the endless loops that eight tracks are (perhaps this dates me.. though I never actually owned an eight track… being a child of the cassette generation). And some, enlightened individuals get it. They understand that if they care about the FA they want him to be happy and.. if this person, whoever she is makes him happy, they make them happy as well by extension. I could go on.. but I’ve drifted from the point.

What is in the closet behavior? Going out to a restaurant where you would never meet anyone you know. Making plans to go out for a night on the town and showing up with a pizza and a few dvd’s…. so we don’t have to go out. Excluding you from any of his family events. The reasons, of course are legendary and never ending. Not inviting you to work social events that spouses and girlfriends of other workers attend. Going out without you to events.. because you wouldn’t enjoy it….

Well, I think that’s only the briefest of lists and a full scale list is only limited by the ingenuity and degenerateness of the closeted FA’s ("CFA’s'"). You get the point. In fact, many of you and me at some time have either been subjected to or subjected someone else to such behavior.

So, now the question, is it okay for a FA to remain in the closet. The answer, NO. Let me repeat that. It is not acceptable to treat another human being, any human being, no less one you purport to care about, in a fashion which shows that you are ashamed to know them, be associated with them and will allow others to treat them as less than you would want to be treated.

So, does this mean that any CFA is to be considered reprehensible pond scum? NO. In much the same way that BBWs who haven’t gained sufficient self esteem to overcome the societal pressures to conform with the view that thin is in and if they are fat they are a failure unless and until they lose weight isn’t to be berated and condemned, a CFA who hasn’t made the move to OTC FA isn’t to be berated and condemned. Pitied, perhaps, but not condemned initially. However, if a CFA begins a relationship with a BBW or SSBBW it is incumbent on the woman to put her foot down with the CFA. Make the man make the shift to OFC FA or say goodbye. This doesn't mean overnight, but making progress in that direction, situation by situation, family member by family member, friend by friend and work colleague by work colleague. If a woman continues a relationship after she recognizes that the fella is a CFA and isn’t coming out of the closet she is enabling his behavior. By doing so she is a party to the CFA’s behavior. Shame on her. As Dr. Ruth used to sing on the radio… You’ve got to wash that boy right out of your hair…

So, CFA’s are to be pitied, not vilified. However, blessed with a BBW or SSBBW of their own, they must make the move out of the closet to the heady liberation of OTC FA status.

What sayeth you folks, male and female?

On the road to FAdom

As a young proto-FA of 12 or 13, struggling with my raging hormones and the reappearance of an entire half of the human population, i.e. the girls.. I was a massively uncontrollable boob freak. I lusted for big breasted women, lived to see them, dreamed about them, masturbated to my mental images of them and did everything possible with my limited social skills with the women I found attractive to lay my hands on the genuine article.

Looking back on this socially acceptable (well, at least within the society of other men) boob crazed period I was able to share my feelings about the women I found attractive with my fellows. As this evolved to loving fat women in whatever form they took I discovered that this camaraderie and cooperative support not only evaporated, but any expression of my amorous interest in a gal with any sort of curves apart from ample bosom was met with scorn and even ridicule. Being the normal fellow who prefers the positive feedback of my peers I went through a series of stages.

The first stage was refocusing my attention on big breasted women. At this stage I just assumed that I was probably a bit weird but this attraction to fat girls would pass along with the intermittent pimples that seemed to appear on a regular basis. The second stage was to shift my attention to big breasted gals who were much bigger on top and who might also have more than average size bodies in other parts. At this point I realized that this attraction was no longer socially acceptable in my circle of friends and acquaintances. But, I refused to give up my feelings, even though I was probably no older than 13 or 14. Any sense that actually like women because they were fat never occurred to me at that point.

At that time there was no internet, but, thankfully there were big breast magazines. Although you were supposed to be 18 to buy these holy texts, the local candy store operator would sell you these magazines, carefully slid into a thin brown paper bag for concealment purposes. Since I had no one to discuss my feelings with, I came to await the appearance each month of the new issues of Gent and BUF, and perhaps others, though these two remain in my mind as the source of much pleasure.

The next phase in my maturity and awareness was probably about age 15 or 16 when I became aware of some of my female classmates having matured beyond the nascent breast stage. Okay, some of these gals had sprouted and had enormous breasts. One in particular was a girl I had known for almost a decade and had shared many classes with. We used to talk all the time as she was "one of the guys" on many subjects. She had not only gone from a flat chested slightly chubby girl to a mammoth mammaried maiden, she sported heavily rounded hips and butt and a slightly rounded belly. In other words she was a WOMAN. To put it in context, she was probably a 38DD and maybe weighed about 180 pounds. Naturally, my efforts to talk with her met with an amazing inability to manipulate my tongue apart from lower animal grunting sounds and words tripping over each other. Of course, with her newly blossomed prow a wide variety of boys higher on the social pecking order had descended on her. Of course it didn't hurt her social elevation that she also continued to wear shirts that were purchased before her eruptions. As I began to convince myself that any success with this goddess of the High School hallways was beyond my abilities, I cast about for other possibilities.

Soon, I discovered a girl in my classes of similar age and academic interests, with a 40DD bra and a very full bodied form(no this isn't a guess). She was safe since she was dating another guy, who was nowhere as intelligent as she, and very friendly. That summer she and I went to summer program at a college and one thing leading to another we became good friends, and one evening, sitting on a dark campus lawn went a bit further. That would explain the knowledge of her bra size. On that evening I had my first real contact with ample bosom, tender lips and.. a soft body. Alas, she decided that she'd rather be my friend than my special friend.. and I was back in the wasteland of despair.

But this led me to another cathartic experience, as I contemplated and replayed over and over and over again in my mind and fantasies our briefest of interludes. I decided that the big breasts were fabulous, but couldn't imagine that I'd be attracted to them on a skinny body. As my awareness of what I was turned on by started to shift, I realized, as I looked back into my past how I'd always been unnaturally interested in fatter women, whether big busted or not. I recalled what FA's call sightings dating back to my first decade of life, women so fat and beyond the norm that more than 10 years later I still had strong recollections of the details of their amazingly enormous bellies, hips, thighs, butts or arms. This evolution took about 2-3 years, by which time I was in college and started to date women of varying sizes of bigger than the norm, up to about 200 or 220 pounds and with breasts above average in size.

At this point I knew that I liked women who were bigger than most of my college friends found attractive and struggled with my efforts to build the self confidence among my family and friends which would allow me to pursue and openly enjoy a relationship with a bigger woman. It was only a few years later, after becoming comfortable openly expressing my interest in bigger women(what I'd now call mid size bbws) that I came to grips with my family and friends, telling them that I found these women attractive and wasn't put off by their comments. I also told them that if I brought my girl friends to family or friends' events I expected them to make no comments which could be interpreted as negative reflections on their weight, including suggestions of good diets, etc. It was a good concept.. of course in practice it took much time till they finally stopped trying so hard to make me either find skinnier women or get them to lose weight..

And, after college, I experienced my first SSBBW, a woman I met in a bar near a friend's summer cottage. This woman was probably around 400 pounds and had a belly apron of some size. The sex, was for me liberating and wonderful. Of course, our relationship was only about sex and didn't survive the weekend. But the memory has lasted since then. Since then I've never looked back at skinny women, understanding that my body and mind was only attracted. Now, I am attracted to women in all sizes of large, but prefer women toward the larger end of the spectrum.

I'm interested in other guy's stories of how they came to grips with their FA'dom and other women's stories how they helped guys make this jump out of the FA closet.

The SSBBW

I've been told that my lengthy rambling discourse on the SSBBW was a bit tough to read, with thoughts and ideas mixing together. Of course, that's because my mind operates in that way, starting out on a path and stopping at each branch to explore where it goes, never getting very far along the path but enjoying the trip nevertheless. But, I figured I'd try to flesh out the SSBBW toolbox, those features that seem to only exist on women as they move along the spectrum from skinnier to fatter in the transition region from BBW to SSBBW.

Of course, my first digression is how I define what's a SSBBW. And having finished that, see that I never make it in this blog entry beyond defining what a SSBBW is and if there is any importance to that distinction.

The SSBBW

In my view, the difference between the BBW, a/k/a the Big Beautiful Woman and the SSBBW, the Super Sized Big Beautiful Woman historically is related to the women's fashion market. In the old days.. 60's, 70's and 80's the normal sized world ended somewhere about size 14 and anyone above that was in the wilderness of fat woman polyester. As a few stores began to cater to the market beyond the edge of the Fashion World, the term BBW began to be applied to these sizes. They started at size 16 and moved up to size 24 or so. Women's sizes were also around, which started with higher numbers, which only had the effect of thoroughly confusing us guys to the extent we ever tried to buy something for a woman in our lives. Beyond the fringe BBW market was wasteland. Any women beyond the pale of the BBW market was essentially on her own. Muumuus and other shapeless garments owing their provenance to Omar the tentmaker were about all that existed for this forlorn and forgotten segment of humanity. In the diaspora of fat women some brave vendors(many of them fat women themselves), forged a new flame of clothing for women beyond the BBW world. These clothes came to be known as super sized bbw clothing. Now these initial clothes were limited runs, limited distribution, small potatoes operations. Many of the clothes were merely more of the same or scaled up versions of the bbw clothing, though new colors, patterns and styles designed for fatter women's bodies began to develop. But, at least it was a start. As the women who wore the BBW sized clothings came to be called BBWs, so the women who wore the Supersized BBW clothing came to be called SSBBW.

Hmmm, I feel like I'm telling the tale of the discovery of fire.. some gorgeous fat women, rubbing her supersized thighs together feels the warmth and wonders if she could do the same with sticks to make fire.. and has her FA life partner rub the hell out of some sticks till smoke and then fire appears..

Anyhow, this seemed to be a pretty easy point of demarcation. If you fit into the BBW sizes you were a BBW, if not, you were a SSBBW. Many of the more fashion forward SSBBWs came to Naafa conventions primarily to buy their wardrobes at the trunk sales there and escape the polyester prison of their existing clothing.

Of course, things never really stay the same and the BBW clothing manufacturers began to expand the range of clothing that they offered at the high end. Stores which catered to BBWs began to carry limited items in bigger sizes and stores catering to SSBBWs began to pop up, though usually also including some of the smaller BBW sized garments. Next, the internet arrived and clothing shopping would never be the same.

In recent years a number of different schools of thought have arisen as to where the line is between a BBW and a SSBBW. Some hold to the view that the original clothing size limits are the real line between BBW and SSBBW. Of course, as in all clothing, the actual size of a number has been moving slowly up, so that a size 24 fifteen years ago was much smaller than a size 24 is today(note--I don't wear women's clothing, but this is what I've read and many women have told me).

Another view is that there is some absolute weight limit that forms the line. Common boundary numbers are 350 or 300. Of course, a woman's height seems to effect the size garment that women of similar weight would wear and how fat they look. A 350 pound woman who is 5'2" would probably look much fatter(and have bigger girth dimensions) than a 350 pound woman who's 5'11". The taller woman would clearly look heavier than average, but not nearly as rounded and fat looking as her shorter fat sister.

Still another view is that there is some weight limit that forms the line adjusted based on height. This is more of a BMI based system. This seems to be the standard that a plurality of folks follow, but it is a very subjective standard because of a peculiar characteristic of fat women. Some women seem to be denser than others. This has nothing to do with their minds or intelligence, but what is known in science as specific gravity, measured in kilograms per cubic meter or pounds per cubic inch. Many fat women are particularly "fluffy" and seem to be much larger than their weights would suggest. Others appear quite "firm" and their bodies seem too small to weigh as much as they do.

I have another suggested approach, but before I suggest that I must confess that I think it really makes no difference. If a woman believes she is a SSBBW that's fine with me. If a woman doesn't like the SSBBW tag and would prefer to just be called a BBW that's also fine with me. Nowadays the tag is often used as a code word in interpersonal fencing/flirting/chatting to indicate how large a woman is. The term no longer has any real significance in the fashion area, with sizing being wedded to dimensions and size charts giving women a clearer sense of what size will fit them from any given manufacturer. Because the word doesn't have any real precision associated with it because different people use the same term to mean very different things, in a sense its lost its ability to function as an important term.

My approach, having now stated why its not at all important, is related to the way in which a woman's body grows as her weight increases. As a woman begins to take on the SSBBW toolkit, by developing a belly apron, derriere shelf, hanging upper arms or thighs, etc. in my view the woman has become a SSBBW. For some women this transition takes place at relatively lower weights, perhaps in the mid to high 200's. For others it doesn't begin until the 400's. And some rare women seem to continue to grow in perfect proportion to their skinnier shape and that of other smaller women. For these rare women I rely on my quasi scientific "Wow she's big" standard. Generally, in my view when a woman begins to take on at least one of the elements of the SSBBW toolkit she has moved into SSBBW terrain.

Enough for now...

Fat is Where its At, Part II

Well, here comes part II of the last entry. It took more time than I had expected to get back to it, but now I’m ready to rumble. The first part brought us to the cusp of the difference between BBWs and SSBBWs in my eyes. When a woman reaches SSBBWdom something seems to happen to her body which liberates it from the general toolkit which is used for her smaller sisters. Like an extended edition of a software package which has additional features or functionality, a SSBBW has parts and curves not found on others.

A brief catalog would include the belly apron, fat rolls on her back, a section named by some as the change purse(formed by multiple rolls of fat which create a cavern in the central buttock somewhat like the type of coin purse which is formed of plastic and is opened by squeezing its sides to widen the gap in its center), the pulkees (perhaps a Yiddish term – representing the ultra soft bulging pillowy flesh residing above that additional crease in the extreme upper thigh of a heavy thighed woman), the uber-abs (my coined term, as far as I know it, for the smaller belly above the belly and under the breasts which almost looks like a super size version of the six pack abs of a body builder), the division of the lower belly below the belly button into two distinct sections, the growth of the pubic mound into a full grown underbelly, the hang of the upper arm over the elbow (creating the famed, in some circles, elbow dimple), the hang of the thighs over the knees(often only on one side, rarely all the way around the leg), and the chankles (a/k/a chubby ankles in which the lower leg of a lady is expanded about what is usually the ankle so that there is no narrowing and often a widening of the leg right ontop of the foot), "the shelf" (that overtly abundant extrusion of the upper buttock which climbs and extends backward in a way that allows one to rest one’s hands or even beverages on the lovely lasses buttock without fear of falling unless, of course, she starts to move in which case all bets are off). I could go on, because this merely touches on some of the more well known and observed special parts usually only found in SSBBWs.

Of course, as women grow beyond the 500s their bodies begin to develop in other ways, having so much additional material to work with. However, as my interest starts to wane beyond this point I will not focus on these truly unique women some with dimensions extending into triple digits on all three of the normal dimensions(bust, waist and hips) and occasionally even the thighs. While these women are truly amazing in their size and shape, mobility at this size is generally limited to movement of arms and perhaps legs in a bed setting, with anything more than that only possible with hoists, lifts or teams of hardy aides. Surprisingly, a non-trivial number of women and men seem to be able to continue to grow in size until they exceed 700, 800 or even a 1000 pounds. In many cases they are not seeking to grow to such sizes but have become overcome with their "love" of food to the extent that their every waking moments are occupied with eating. One doesn’t inquire about what happens on the other end of the human log factory. In any event.. perhaps more discussions about women at this Marianna Trench deep end of the gene pool will be left to another entry.

So, back to my SSBBWs. I have always been a connoisseur of women with distinctive shapes, whether abundantly bosomed, behemothically bellied, humongously hippy, profoundly pearshaped or ultra hourglass shaped. Often, a woman with relatively smaller parts and one magnificently large part can arouse lustful feelings more significant than a larger women with more balanced features. Like many FA’s I can still remember significant "sightings" of women going back to my earliest memories. When I have these memories it is almost always related to the relative proportions of a woman more than the sheer magnitude of her size.


It would probably a good time here for me to discuss the difference between me finding a woman strikingly attractive and beautiful. While fat women are known universally as BBWs or SSBBWs, the word beautiful is nested within both of these acronyms. Many of these women of size, as with their smaller compatriots are anything but beautiful. Beauty, in my eyes is something that is beyond physical size and shape, and related to many other things, including the frequency, comfort with, and wattage of smiles, personality, intelligence, interests, compatibility and a sense of humor. I, would, naturally be lying if I were to say that the physical appearance, of which size, shape, texture, hair color, eye color, shape of the belly button and hair style are merely a few of the markers, were unimportant. Beauty is too broad a concept to be generalized and too specific and different for each person to give guidance beyond one’s own sense of what beauty is for them. Like the definition of pornography set by Justice Potter of the Supreme Court, the definition of Beauty has no bright line tests but... we know it when we see it.


The discussion of my attraction to SSBBWs is thus focused on my strong physical preference for women of this size, but this preference must not be divorced from the larger urgency in finding a partner, whether for a short term free love (a/k/a casual sex) relationship or a long term committed one or something in the middle. In a sense the discussion is focused on one component of that which attracts men to women and vice versa. However, among us FA’s and the BBWs and SSBBWs that we are inexorably drawn to there is a special significance to this factor. For the women the significance is more obvious... they are fat at all times, unable to shed a fat suit and magically disappear into "normalcy" as a skinny gal. No one can be confused that they are anything but fat. Someone having a relationship with them will always be marked as going out with the fat chick. For the guys its easier in some ways and more difficult in others. Its easier in the obvious way.. If the guy isn’t fat himself, he can disappear into the normal world without appearing to be a FA He can blend in in a way that a fat woman never can. But in the other sense.. much like gay folk, the FA can lie to others but he can never lie to himself ultimately that it’s a fat woman that makes him whole and floats his boat. So, he can stay in the closet like the gay folk do, or he can come out in the sunshine and adore in public the women he finds so attractive. It took me some time to wrestle with my feelings through my college years until I was confident in what I was, a FA, and what I wanted, a beautiful fat woman.

I think this is more than enough musing for now. There are many more subjects which have suggested themselves in this orgy of words, but I will leave them for another session.


Again, your comments and thoughts and suggestions, criticisms and desires are earnestly solicited.