Sunday, January 29, 2006

Why Bother?

Why Bother?

As I have gotten past the first blush of posts I've begun to contemplate why I started to write the blog, what it means to me in the short term and what long term plans I have for it, or it has for me.

Initially, my thinking was that I needed a way to clear out the attics of my mind of things that I'd thought about, dwelled on, chewed over and then moved on from some time ago. It also seemed like a good place to organize my thoughts about things FA which I had no other mode of communication for. On the few occasions that I've been able to sit down and talk about FA stuff with another FA there's too much of the thank god there are more of us out there talk and not enough of the real gristly issues that we and the women we adore face. Another thought was that maybe my musings could be of use to other FA's as a way to avoid the long years I've had to think of these issues and short circuit their own paths to maturity of their own thoughts. Perhaps another was to offer a window into a FA's head for the beautiful ladies of size, so they could get a better sense of what was going on in FA's heads and perhaps a way to move those guys out of the closet, etc.

When I thought of it that way, there seemed to be too many important reasons for doing a blog, and I figured that was more responsibility than I wanted. But, being a curious person, I was interested in any reactions that others have had to my words. Anyone I gave the link to the blog was asked to please comment. Of course, apart from a slender selection of readers this hasn't happened. But, those of you who have made comments have really made my days on the occasions of the comments coming in. I am not a know it all(Gee, was that truly necessary.. it should be as obvious to everyone else, as it is to me that I'm not). And, I just love to climb into other people's minds and see what makes them tick and how they think.

But, since the level of comments has stayed quite low, I often wonder whether anyone is actually reading what I've written. Initially, that seemed to be a deadly blow to my confidence and feelings. But, it occurs to me that I write this as much for my own pleasure as for others. Also, having chatted with some folks who've read it and haven't posted comments, I know that there are some who've read it and enjoyed it or found it interesting who prefer for their own reasons not to enter a comment. So, there are probably a wide variety of reasons why I write what I do, but as long as I'm happy and having fun doing it, I'm sure I will continue.

Having read a variety of other blogs over the last few months, and a few going back more than a year, I've learned a lot about what I, as a reader, enjoy, and what makes me want to wail. Repetition kills me. When a blogger merely repeats the same formulaic thoughts over and over again, no matter how interesting they were initially, I feel cheated. Of course, that is a very egocentric concept since that's all about my enjoyment of someone else's blog. And, since I don't write my blog for someone else, but for me, why should they feel any differently about their blog. Being kinda new to this thing I posted a comment to someone else's blog, which I had found interesting. However, the past 5 or 6 posts I'd read looked like they were all redrafts of the same post. While the content was amusing and interesting, it seemed that there had to be something new to say or why bother. My comment was relatively neutral, describing how I enjoyed reading the blogger's work, but feeling that the recent posts were somewhat repetitive and hoping that new stuff would be forthcoming. Of course the blogger had a shit fit and pointed out, among the rants about my presumptuousness(which of course was right), that the blog belonged to the blogger and not me and all the posts could be absolutely identical if that was what made the blogger happy. While initially taken aback by the venom expressed, and still feeling that the reaction was an overreaction to an innocent comment, I have learned that the core point is valid. A blog must be writted both by and FOR the blogger and not for others. Yes, one hopes that others enjoy, learn, are stimulated, etc. by a blog entry, but ultimately, if the blogger is happy with the work, the rest is gravy. If others are angered, drawn to respond negatively or passionately, that's not necessarily a bad thing. But, I've decided, for me that I prefer not to revisit the same topics dealt with before unless I have something new or different to say about them.

So, in answer to the Why Bother? question,.... because its not a bother, and because I enjoy doing it and seeing the responses large and small.

7 Comments:

Blogger emily pound said...

Being a blogger myself, I understand exactly what you're saying and have wrestled with the same issues. Few people have commented on my blog, and for awhile that made me stop because I thought, like you, why bother if no one is reading it? But one of the things about the people who have commented, and that I find rewarding, is that the people who do comment keep coming back and commenting on a regular basis. I have a few "fans", I guess. And that makes me feel pretty good. Even if I connect with two or three people, who's to say that's not an accomplishment of sorts? These are people I would not have connected with otherwise, and who knows ... maybe one of us will say something that changes the course of another's lives. Or maybe not. Maybe we'll just fade out of each other's lives without a second thought. The bottom line is, I write my blog because I love to write. I feel that I have a lot to say. And even if nobody else reads it, I read it. Over and over and over again. There is something strangely rewarding about seeing your thoughts on a screen, in decipherable form. And the thrill I get from seeing that a comment has been posted, whether it's positive or negative, is such a rush. I will keep blogging as long as I have something to say, which is likely to be quite a long time.

29/1/06 12:37 PM  
Blogger emily pound said...

Being a blogger myself, I understand exactly what you're saying and have wrestled with the same issues. Few people have commented on my blog, and for awhile that made me stop because I thought, like you, why bother if no one is reading it? But one of the things about the people who have commented, and that I find rewarding, is that the people who do comment keep coming back and commenting on a regular basis. I have a few "fans", I guess. And that makes me feel pretty good. Even if I connect with two or three people, who's to say that's not an accomplishment of sorts? These are people I would not have connected with otherwise, and who knows ... maybe one of us will say something that changes the course of another's lives. Or maybe not. Maybe we'll just fade out of each other's lives without a second thought. The bottom line is, I write my blog because I love to write. I feel that I have a lot to say. And even if nobody else reads it, I read it. Over and over and over again. There is something strangely rewarding about seeing your thoughts on a screen, in decipherable form. And the thrill I get from seeing that a comment has been posted, whether it's positive or negative, is such a rush. I will keep blogging as long as I have something to say, which is likely to be quite a long time.

29/1/06 12:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am happy to see that you've allowed others who don't have a blog account to comment on your musings. Personally, I don't have a blog, been thinking about it, but for now prefer to journal in my own way w/o an audience. I prefer it that way, find it more freeing. When I know that I'm writing for an audience, it changes the way I write. I pay closer attention to grammer, spelling, word choice, etc. I also tend to write more formally than I would speak when I write. I sometimes get more dramatic than is necessary or try to be stylish and creative in how I write. While all these things are fine, I'm not placing judgement, it just makes me realize that I'm writing for the reader and not for myself. And writing for myself is my goal in journaling, and I find having an audience too constricting. Now it makes me wonder why I feel that way...lol...guess I'll have to journal about it.

29/1/06 1:11 PM  
Anonymous Frannie said...

Why Bother? Because folks like me greatly enjoy your posts. You are articulate and have a way of letting us into the mind of the FA... the men we fat women love for loving us so deeply.

Keep sharing your thoughts and adding to the visibility for the fat community as a whole. Maybe in time, we won't feel the prejudice often shown by others.

Big Hugs and Fat Kisses,
Frannie

29/1/06 1:20 PM  
Blogger hugehugefan said...

Dear Anonymous. I am glad you felt comfortable leaving a message. That's why I changed from requiring a name(though of course I prefer to know how to address my commenters).

Of course, I'd love if you'd go back and comment on some of the substantive posts as well. And, perhaps you will someday share some or all of your private journal/blog with us. I too felt like you for a while, but find that just a wee bit of effort cleans up the ragged text. And, sometimes the uncleaned text is more powerful anyway.

29/1/06 5:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Char pointed me towards your blog, and I've been wanting to say that you're dead on, at least from my own perspective as an FA!

I'd wanted to post, but didn't feel inclined to sign up with Blogger.

So... good job, keep it up, cheery-o.

Ian
http://www.deadjournal.com/~mercuryil

30/1/06 6:52 AM  
Blogger Charlotte said...

You want some variety? Okay, here's a few things I'd like to know your thoughts on.

1) Weight gain. I know plenty of men like fat women, and I know there is a subset of these men who very much like the idea of a fat woman getting fatter, or even better, a skinny woman getting fatter.

All things being equal, what sort of woman would you prefer? Skinny to SSBBW? BBW to SSBBW? 'Just' a SSBBW?

2) BHM. I presume you're 100% straight, but what do you think about fat men? What about yourself? Are you big, average, lithe? Would you consider becoming a BHM? Would you ever do it for the right woman?

30/1/06 10:20 AM  

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