A Sighting, Revisited
A different type of a sighting.
Riding my commuter rail home last Friday afternoon, unusually early for me, as I was nearing my station, which was the first one on an express train. As I swung around to get my coat off the overhead rack, I noticed what seemed to be a very round face wedged into a slightly smaller row of seats by the door; one row behind and across the aisle from where I was now standing. But what struck my eye was the cover of the softcover trade size book she was reading, it looked like... perhaps... but I couldn’t be sure, so I asked the woman sitting on the aisle of my row to let me out of the seat early... and get a better look... and yes... it was... FATSO!, Marilyn Wann’s wonderful fat liberation and affirmation book.
So, as I got closer I said in a relatively loud(so it was clear I was speaking to her… since most strangers don’t talk to other strangers on the train.. its some sort of cultural imperative I suppose), but non-threatening voice… “Wow, that’s a really great book”. She looked up, looked back at her book and then at me when I said… “Oh, Marilyn Wann is wonderful. Wacky, but wonderful. And, so right about many of the things she writes about. And I know her and she’s also a wonderful person, wild and able to attract attention by carefully calculated outrageous acts, but so grounded.”
While I took a breath and the young lady tried to take this all in, my eyes did their FA best to gather all the relevant cute fat girl data. This was a young woman, probably in her early 20s, well groomed with a mass of dark unruly hair, a bosom hidden by the book that she was eyeing now with unnatural attention(since it had somehow caused this big older fellow to talk to her on the train in a fashion about this book regarding fat people in a loud clear voice that everyone around could hear), and a magnificently large and round belly in a pair of black jeans which displayed, for those interested in looking, a very broad curved belly filling her lap and the area between her and the back of the seat in front of her quite fully. My look didn’t get below the belly to the hips or legs.
She recovered to say that her aunt had bought her a Lara Frater book and she’d just gone from there to one book and another. Clearly Marilyn’s book, which if you haven’t read it you must, was more of an eye opener than the earlier stuff. She looked a bit flushed and flustered. At that point the train slowed to a stop at my station and the doors opened.
With one more turn of the head I said, “Have a great time with the book, and keep your eyes out for the guys who think you are beautiful, we’re out there.” .. and off the train onto the platform I moved, without looking back. The odds are I’ll never see her again, or if I do it will be quite some time till then, as I don’t ever recall having taken that early train before, and can’t see it happening in the near future. But, I wonder if my sighting will have a positive effect.
Riding my commuter rail home last Friday afternoon, unusually early for me, as I was nearing my station, which was the first one on an express train. As I swung around to get my coat off the overhead rack, I noticed what seemed to be a very round face wedged into a slightly smaller row of seats by the door; one row behind and across the aisle from where I was now standing. But what struck my eye was the cover of the softcover trade size book she was reading, it looked like... perhaps... but I couldn’t be sure, so I asked the woman sitting on the aisle of my row to let me out of the seat early... and get a better look... and yes... it was... FATSO!, Marilyn Wann’s wonderful fat liberation and affirmation book.
So, as I got closer I said in a relatively loud(so it was clear I was speaking to her… since most strangers don’t talk to other strangers on the train.. its some sort of cultural imperative I suppose), but non-threatening voice… “Wow, that’s a really great book”. She looked up, looked back at her book and then at me when I said… “Oh, Marilyn Wann is wonderful. Wacky, but wonderful. And, so right about many of the things she writes about. And I know her and she’s also a wonderful person, wild and able to attract attention by carefully calculated outrageous acts, but so grounded.”
While I took a breath and the young lady tried to take this all in, my eyes did their FA best to gather all the relevant cute fat girl data. This was a young woman, probably in her early 20s, well groomed with a mass of dark unruly hair, a bosom hidden by the book that she was eyeing now with unnatural attention(since it had somehow caused this big older fellow to talk to her on the train in a fashion about this book regarding fat people in a loud clear voice that everyone around could hear), and a magnificently large and round belly in a pair of black jeans which displayed, for those interested in looking, a very broad curved belly filling her lap and the area between her and the back of the seat in front of her quite fully. My look didn’t get below the belly to the hips or legs.
She recovered to say that her aunt had bought her a Lara Frater book and she’d just gone from there to one book and another. Clearly Marilyn’s book, which if you haven’t read it you must, was more of an eye opener than the earlier stuff. She looked a bit flushed and flustered. At that point the train slowed to a stop at my station and the doors opened.
With one more turn of the head I said, “Have a great time with the book, and keep your eyes out for the guys who think you are beautiful, we’re out there.” .. and off the train onto the platform I moved, without looking back. The odds are I’ll never see her again, or if I do it will be quite some time till then, as I don’t ever recall having taken that early train before, and can’t see it happening in the near future. But, I wonder if my sighting will have a positive effect.
posted by hugehugefan at 6:50 AM
7 Comments:
I'll bet you lingered in her mind for a long time afterwards. Hmmmm ... love on the train? Could this be the beginning of a poignant and beautiful affair? What's the name of that Meryl Streep/DeNiro movie where they meet on the train? "Falling in Love". I've never seen all of it and I can't remember if it was any good or not. But this is real life and it sounds really interesting. :-)
By the way, I have that book too and it is great. I take it out and browse through it when I'm feeling unempowered. Which is fairly often.
So its clear, the young woman in question is far too young to interest me in a relationship. Nothing negative is implied about her. It has, however, been my view that such a broad age difference would rob the relationship of the shared cultural associations which people of similar age share and forms an important common ground of experience. That common ground of shared cultural experiences, which may be anything from TV programs watched as kids, political and social events which took place when one was old enough to appreciate them, people popular for brief times during childhood or some other phase of life, etc. is a part of the mortar of a relationship. To have to explain to someone who Archie Bunker, Chevy Chase or Bill Buckner were takes away from the flow of thought and spontaneity. So, while the young lady was attractive and seemed filled with joie de vivre, my joy was in encouraging her empowerment as a beautiful fat woman and to look onward toward a FA of her age group. It was not a prelude to including her in some harem of collected beauties.
Good ol' Archie Bunker. :-) I love that episode where he's locked in the cellar and then the black guy comes down and rescues him. Classic! :-)
I agree with you that shared interests and experiences are the mortar of a relationship.
I so applaud your actions! You likely will never know the smile that will cross her face as she thinks of the stranger who alluded to the fact that there are many men who like larger women.
Before I accepted myself as a big beautiful sexy woman, I would have held onto those few but very meaningful words for days on end.
And just reading them now makes me smile for her! Thank you for making her day!
Ditto! :-)
I would like to thank you for writing out your thoughts, there has been 2 invaluable lessons learned already for myself. There is something to reading black and white text that makes everything click. I look forward daily to checking your blog for anything added. Also, there is a top 40 song out now that should accompany this post when being read and it's Your Beautiful. I think of you every time I hear it now. The song starts out on a train and he sees a beautiful girl for a moment, knowing he will probably never see her again but will remember her for a long time. Oh yea, I have Fatso on order now and can't wait to get it.
Dear Ms anonymous(assuming you're a Ms)
You've brought a blush to this fat man's face. I never take compliments very well, but will merely say thank you and that I have felt particularly good about what I did for a much longer time than I thought I would. Please let me know how you like FATSO! which I've always pronounced as FAT SO?
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