Wednesday, February 01, 2006

On the Horns of a Dilemma

On the Horns of a Dilemma

I was gearing up to write a brief comment responding to a very nice FA’s comment responding to my The Sighting post. And, as can often happen to me, my responsive Comment took on a life of its own. So now I was looking at it and trying to figure out if I should post it as a comment or, perhaps as a separate, new spanking Blog entry. I don’t feel obligated to post on any schedule, so it wasn’t as if I needed a Wednesday post. So I reread the comment and thought… hmmm it seems to be partially in response to the comment and partially a generalized collection of thoughts. What to do?

Well, I punted and went back to work, hoping that the next time I looked at it all would be clear. So, several hours later I looked at it again and… you knew it… still the same problem, though I fiddled with it a bit more and now there was more stuff not directly commenting on the comment. Since Plan B was a flop I went to Plan C, which was to ask a chat buddy what they suggested. That lovely response was.. could go either way, why not flip a coin. At which point I realized that this brilliant reply was the answer to my problem. Of course my chat buddy had no idea what I was talking about until I explained it, but it was her idea.

The answer-- to try and deal with the question of the difference between a post and a comment on the blog and then provide the post/comment and ask the readers of the blog which they would have preferred. As I said… the solution was pure genius, because now the hybrid post/comment when appended to the discussion about whether to be a post or a comment had clearly become only suitable as a post. I wish I had thought of it myself, but since I’m not one of those folks who rejects an idea because it wasn’t invented here, I happily stole the idea and used it. What good is an idea if it’s not put to use. And anyway, for you ethical purists, I got permission to use the idea.

So, what’s the difference between a blog entry and a comment? I looked at it from two perspectives, the blogger and bloggee(nah.. too stupid sounding.. I’ll call y’all readers). From the blogger’s perspective it really makes no difference. I know where it is and if I want to reread it I can easily find it. From the reader side I had to think more deeply, and since I had already stolen one idea, consulted with the comment/post sage for her thoughts on how she goes about reading blogs. When I read someone else’s Blog I generally read the posts, but only occasionally go in and read the comments. If it’s a blog I really enjoy and post comments on, I always follow the backwater discussions which go on between the commenters and the blogger in the comments. Another element is the timeliness of the comment. If the comment is directed to the current post I’m more likely to read the comment than if the comment is added after there are one or more other blog entries more recent than the one being commented on. Finally, if I post a comment I follow up to see if there’s been a response. So a post is read by the widest group of readers, a current comment by a smaller group and a comment related to an older post the smallest group and likely just the blogger if he/she/it are moderating comments and the commenter.

So, the way I thunk it was that if my response was solely to a commenter and more of the same thing included in the original post, definitely a comment. If you check you’ll notice that I have often commented on people’s comments. But, if something that the commenter triggered, either because of their incisiveness or because of some knee jerk response by me, sounds like it would be of general interest(boy what a huge assumption that would be.. but it won’t stop me you can be sure), I’ll deal with it as a new blog entry.

I think that a number of you who read the blog have your own, I know of at least three. I assume that most of you read at least one other blog. I’m curious what your take on the distinction should be.

Just so you know I even thought at one point the distinction should be if it met the lofty standards established for the blog in composition, exposition, grammar, style and finesse. Of course even I realized that was total BS and ditched that one tout-suite.

Having put it off for long enough… on with what was the post/comment and is now part 2 of this blog entry.

Dear Anonymous 3, Hooray, you're the first male commenter on The Sighting post. I call you Anonymous 3 because there were two previous Anonymous commenters. I enabled the Anonymous feature because some folks told me that they didn’t want to signup to get a name, officially, and thus couldn’t comment. And, I can live with that since I really do want to get as many thoughtful comments as possible. But, I would ask that you sign your comment if you feel able to do so with some identifying term so when I respond I can personalize the response. Such as FADude or VoluptuousBBW, or Throatwarbler Mangrove(pronounced Luxury Yacht).

I assumed, but we all know how assuming is a mistake, that The Sighting post would strike a chord in any male readers since every FA I've ever met, and I've met a bunch at Naafa events and other size acceptance venues has either confessed or proudly shared some sighting or ten. Like fisherman sitting around the fire telling about the whoppers that they caught and the even bigger ones that got away, no group of self respecting FA's can be together for very long without reminiscing about sightings of particular distinction or type. Like a joke telling session where everyone tells a “why did the chicken cross the road” joke, or a bar joke(a horse walked into a bar and the bartender asked.. why do you have such a long face)or a pope joke, FA’s always seem to like to share some sighting or another.

Some of those sessions relate to sharing sightings based on size, significant body parts, types of clothing or to amusing or exciting events related to a sighting, like a belly or breast shaking free of its restraining clothing. While I wasn’t actually looking to get a salacious collection of old sighting chestnuts (not that I don’t enjoy hearing others’ sightings and yours were quite pleasant), I find your collection interesting for various reasons beyond the actual sightings(though I could retell sightings I have on a subway, at a school at a young age or at fast food restaurants).

So, I was beginning to wonder if all the readers (gee no idea how many that would be beyond the few folks who’ve commented), were BBW’s and SSBBW’s and no men or even fellow BHM’s. Yes, I am a BHM.

In any event.. back to my response to Anonymous 3(or A3 as I might call him in casual conversation).

First, your earliest sighting of the three (and not the other 999.5 pages of them), dates back to the sixth grade when you were probably about 12 and thus in the first full blush of hormonal activity. I wonder how long it took you to understand your FA’ness and if and when you finally came out of the closet to those around you and surmounted the peer pressure that kept you away from that BBGirl. In the full fairness of disclosure. I recall two fat girls in my grade as we went through elementary school and being effected by their appearance back probably to the third or fourth grade. I wouldn’t say that I was attracted to them at the time, no boy was, but in some way their presence and size was strangely fascinating and unsettling.

The other two sightings you shared (of the at least affianced BBW on the subway and the DQ girls), suggests that women of that size, between 220 and 280 pounds, are of interest to you or at least to your nonverbal being. If I were to pick three to share I’m sure that at least one of them would be of a woman who was much, much heavier, probably over 400 or 500 pounds. So I thought to myself, “Self”(Shameless theft from Emeril) we should ask this fella some questions. Not to put you on the spot, but more as an open question to the bigger group… Are you currently with a SO or dating, and if so, how big is that woman or those women. What is the smallest and the largest woman you’ve dated since becoming an adult, and how comfortable were you with the largest woman’s size in public and with your friends and family? Are you an OTC FA(out of the closet FA for those of you who didn’t read the earlier posts), or still hiding somewhat in the closet and not coming out to your family and friends?

And, since I’m on such a roll of questions to the nice chap who wandered in and shared this wonderful comment, what’s the one single sighting that was the most significantly sexually arousing for you, with as much detail as you can muster and is the woman or women in that sighting the type of women you want to be with in real life.

And then… that’s it for the new Post.


Anonymous Anonymous said...


I forgot to sign my 'Anonymous' post. I'm Ian (though Mr. A3 has a ring to it). I'm married to Char. So, yes, I do have a significant other. And she's more significant than most people ;-)

The most significant sighting in my life was, of course, when I first spotted Charlotte. We were at a New Year's party being thrown by one of my friends. His girlfriend was a quite large lady, perhaps in the range of 330 pounds. It was the first time I'd met his girlfriend, and was quite envious of him! I was recently broken up with my fit girlfriend, and wasn't really there to cruise, just to get drunk with friends at New Year's. Well, my friend's girlfriend was there with HER friend. Her friend, of course, was Char. At the time Char was tiny next to her friend, around 250 pounds. We ended up chatting together at the party, and developed a bit of a rapport.

We ended up double dating a bit with our friends, and eventually I learned that she had been gaining weight on purpose! I'd always fantasised about women gaining weight, but it never occurred to me someone might actually gain weight on purpose. Similarly, while she enjoyed the weight gain, she never seriously thought she'd find a man who would actually encourage he to do so.

So why not include this as a 'sighting'? I suppose that 'sighting' means what you said: a story about the one that got away. Char didn't get away, she was no mere sighting.

As for my preferences, I'm a more is better kinda guy. As fat as a girl can comfortably get, that's good for me. Like I said, the other sightings had their significance. The fact that they were skinnier than my 'main' preference has more to do with the impact they had. The first is always remembered. The last is easy to remember (I'm sure, had I not written about it, it might already have passed from my mind), and the middle one, though she wasn't the biggest woman I've ever come across, she was the first BBW I saw on a regular basis (as an 'adult') and would have loved to ask out, but never did. (Because she was married.)

Char is the only BBW I have ever dated. Before meeting he I was always 'in the closet' for a variety of reasons. I dated women I liked, and I dated Char for reasons beyond just her weight. Her weight really was the icing on the proverbial cake. As it is, I haven't officially come out of the closet. I've never told anyone that I prefer BBW. If anyone asks, I'll be honest about it, but I feel that there's no need to declare 'I like fat girls'. Certainly most guys don't declare 'I like skinny girls', although they'll answer if they're 'breast men or leg men'.

As for size range, Char was 250 when we met, 460 at her highest weight, and, well, obviously every weight in between. She's 300+ right now, aiming to be 280. While I found her physically the most attractive at her largest weight, sexual attraction hinges on much more. She's happier sub-300, and happiness is sexy. Also... being a big guy myself... I sort of like the contrast she offers at the lower weight, it's just more fun for me when she can move around with more range and energy ;-)

aka Gainiac
aka A3

2/2/06 7:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

PS, my friend Amy has solved your dilemma:

She has 'all request' blog entries where she addresses comments in the main blog. She does it when she doesn't have anything interesting to say.


2/2/06 8:00 AM  
Blogger hugehugefan said...

I put no limits on sightings and think yours was great. There is no reason that a sighting can't lead to something more. The first fat girl I ever dated, when I was in college was the result of a sighting. I was at a party, met this incredible fat girl(probably about 180 or so on a 5'5" frame), hit it off during the day and then got separated at the end of the night. It took about a year till I hunted her down again on campus, though I tried, and apparently she did the same. All we had were our first names and on a campus with over 16,000 students that's a bit slender a reed to find someone. But, we did reconnect, the flame was still there and erupted into a tumultuous wonderful relationship for more than a semester, which in those days was a lifetime and a half. Your sighting had an even happier conclusion.

The neat thing about sightings is that they can be enjoyed from the slightest, briefest variety, like the one I included or even briefer when you drive by a woman walking on the street who you see for only a fraction of a second on up to a relationship which blossoms into a lifelong partnership.

On your comment about Amy's blog and answering comments I forgot about that approach, though of course I've read her blog where she does that periodically. The only problem is that she has to weight for a few comments to answer to make that system work. One comment wouldn't trigger that.. and I felt the need to respond quickly and in the moment.

2/2/06 12:20 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home