Friday, December 30, 2005

It's a Fat thing, Part 1

This is a new experience for me, but why not on the cusp of the new year. I am a FA, a fat admirer. No, that doesn't mean that I like to admire fat itself, but women who are fat. But of course that isn't really accurate either. I like women who are fat who I find attractive. Not all fat women are attractive to me. Not all women who are not fat are unattractive to me. But, as a general rule I find fat women quite attractive, and as they are much fatter than the average woman I find them progressively more attractive.

How big is too big. That's always been a tough question. The answer is in two part harmony. First, there is no limit to too big based on weight or girth or any other dimensions. Second, in the real world I would not be attracted to a woman who is so large that she has become immobile. Of course immobility is a spectrum from the beginning hints of difficulties in moving, such as when a woman's thighs start to rub on the inside up to a size so big that the woman is trapped in her bed unable to even lift her arms because of their immense weight and requiring someone to do everything for the woman from feeding her to bathing her to cleaning her up in her "bathroom" activities. I definitely find the rubbing of a woman's thighs together sexy, the total immobility neither sexy, nor attractive and ultimately a bit gross. Those are easy points of reference.. its where in the middle my line of demarcation between turned on and turned off resides.

Over the years my range of interest has shifted higher on the weight spectrum. Whereas in my college years a gal in the high 100's and low 200's was very attractive, especially if she had huge breasts, in the years after college I began to focus on women in the high 200's and low 300s and my eye would wander to the supersized women beyond that point. As time has gone on my eye still favors the first two groups of interest, but my libido has been desensitized to these smaller fat women. Now I am only excited by women who fall near or over the line between BBW's and SSBBW's. It's probably a mistake to consider there to be a line between BBW's and SSBBW's. Like so many other things related to fat women there is no bright line test or standard which applies uniformly as to whether a woman should be called a BBW or SSBBW. Perhaps another entry will be my thoughts on that very thorny matter of dispute among FAs and fat women.. though quite frankly... who cares.

Anyhow, in recent years I have reveled the beauty of women in the high 300's, 400's and 500's. Surprisingly, to me, who has been a student of observing fat women for decades, a woman's fatness and her weight are not as closely correlated as one would believe. I have met women who weighed nearly 400 pounds and were barely more than 5 feet tall (the effect of height on fatness at given weights could also occupy volumes :) ), yet didn't look more than very plump, while significantly taller women weighing 50 pounds less look immensely fat in comparison. Am I dismayed by this... HELL NO. It merely causes me to redouble my efforts to establish the parameters of the transformation between dimensons and the visual effect of a fat woman(another topic requiring more detailed consideration... i.e. the inexplicable but clearly present intensity of desire on the part of many FA's for numbers which quantify their fat women's bodies).

As I've grown in my admiration and desire for the larger women among the army of fat women I've come to also become enthralled with the diversity of shape present only in the bigger women. To explain, for skinny women and those of insurance company chart "normal" weights the diversity of shapes is rather limited. Some women have larger breasts, others have larger butts or thighs or tummies(not really a belly), but all share the similarities of a standard skeleton's shape with a bit more or less padding added. I understand that many men find this attractive.. but in my view from the FA world.. "they all look the same". As women grow larger in the small BBW grouping they still maintain the sameness of the slimmer women, but with added curves. But here's the key... the added curves are in the same spots as with the smaller women.. except.. the belly. Here, the diversity begins to develop, with women having bellies that have different shapes and sizes and even some hang. But as a rule, these women are just bigger, better and more bountiful versions of their slimmer sisters. I can honestly say that in my experience that many of these women are/were sublime and beautiful. But, no longer, in the whole sufficient to tickle MY joy switch.

It is important for me to note that I'm just talking about the connection between my eyes and my libido, not whether I would actually be attracted to a woman for more than eye candy. So much more, a lot of it unrelated to a woman's looks or physical size/shape, enters the equation and in many cases is at least as important as the shape, size and other qualities of the package. But I stray...

As one gets into the larger bbws and the ssbbws new things start to happen. These women, often over 350, though sometimes less if they are quite short, begin to develop their own distinctive shapes. And here, there is a sense that a woman has broken the normal template available to all and created a new one special only to her.

Enough rambling for now.. let's say this is only Part 1

I'd love to hear anyone's comments and viewpoints.


Blogger emily pound said...

Hello there,

I am a large woman (I really hate the word fat, even though I know I am), and am also a fan of Angela's website. Like you, I'm also disappointed by her seeming reservation to her growing immobility. Frankly, I think she is slowly committing suicide and I sent her a long message expressing my concern which she originally put up, then deleted from the postings. I'm not going to pretend to understand her motivations for her goal of being 450 pounds or whatever. I could never understand that, since I have been obsessed with losing weight for as long as I can remember. I just hope that she snaps out of it before she kills herself.

I find your interest in and descriptions of the diversity of shapes of larger women very interesting. I don't think I would appeal to you as I fall in the "smaller range" (oh my God, imagine that!) :-) of women who you seem to prefer. But I'm curious ... are you married ... have you dated a lot of BBWs and SSBBWs? Are you a closet FA? Most men are, in my experience.

I went through a very sad experience recently where a man I had developed a lot of feelings for and become very close to, told me, basically, he no longer found me attractive, that I was "too fat" for him and he was sorry but he just couldn't help it. This has been the story of my life with men, unrequited passion, unrequited love. I'm so sick of it.

9/1/06 9:46 AM  
Blogger hugehugefan said...

Dear Emily:

Thanks for your thoughtful commentary. I'm glad you've taken the time to respond in words of more than one syllable and without the need to fall back on angry or inarticulate expressions. My responses to your questions are not intended to be a part of my blog, but I would be willing to respond to you by email on these points? Should I use the email listed on your profile for contact?

and.. no, I'm not a closet FA.

9/1/06 3:04 PM  
Blogger emily pound said...

Hi there,

sure, you can use that email address. look forward to hearing from you.

10/1/06 5:29 AM  

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